If you were to send me an email right now, a number of things would happen. My wrist would vibrate. My pocket would vibrate, light up, and make a sound. A pop-up would appear in the corner of my laptop screen. A counter next to a small icon of an envelope would increase in my Google Chrome window. I'll twitch and squirm and swear in frustration but I need all these things to happen, I swear. Still, I probably won't answer your email.